Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions!

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	Long ago, Al Jaffee came up with a new piece for MAD: Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions (known as SATSQ in some cultures). I haven't seen any for a while (but that doesn't mean there haven't been any... there could have been a new book fulla them and I'd probably miss it), so at this page, you can create your own and add them! Wowy zowy! To get you started, I've included a couple from a SATSQ book published waaaaay back in 1968.
	Below This Line Of Text Are Examples... Q: Did you catch that fish? A: No, I talked him into giving himself up. A: No, I was sitting here minding my own business when the crazy thing jumped into my pail. A: No, it's a plastic model to get people like you to start fascinating conversations. Q: (from a woman just pulled over by a police officer) Did I do something wrong, officer? A: No, today we're giving tickets out for doing things right. A: No, I just got tired of lugging around these heavy summonses so I decided to give some of them away. A: No, I'm giving a ticket to this crazy street because it's going the wrong way. Q: (from a waiter, to a husband and wife) Table for how many? A: A hundred and twelve -- we like to change seats every few minutes. A: One -- my wife will sit on my shoulders. A: I don't know -- I can't count that high, either. Now, create one (or, dare I say, two!) of your own and post it in the MAD forum! Fa! User-Created Questions and Answers... (below this line of text, of course)
	Q: (From lady to fellow bus-rider) Isn't my baby beautiful? A: That's a baby? A: Yes, in a Jabba-The-Hutt sort of way. A: Yes, but not nearly as beautiful as this spit up on my coat. *-from Craig Cash*	Q: Were you sitting there? A: No, my imaginary friend, (insert name), is sitting there. A: No, I was sitting there. A: Yes... and there... and there... and there! *-from S. Khal*
	Q: You're not going to wear THAT are you? A: Actually, i was planning on going out naked. A: Only if you don't like it. *-from William Sam*	Q: (from store clerk to man) Is this dress a gift? A: No, i'm planning on wearing it on my date tonight. A: No, i'm starting a new fashion craze for men. *-from William Sam*
	Q: Is that yours??? A: No, I stole it. A: Actually I took it out of your wallet. A: No, I just like showing of my friend's things. *-from Douglas E. Long, Jr.*	Q: Do you like the lunch you packed today? A: No, I just put it in there for show. A: Not at all, I just pack it, then throw it away and go hungry. *-from Khartman*
	Q: So you haven't caught any fish yet huh? A: Sure, I've caught millions, they're just in the water playing tag! A: What are talking about? I'm teaching my worm how to swim! *-from Joe McLean*	Q: Is it raining outside? A: Does it ever rain inside? *-from Nilanjan Ganguly*
	Q: (Person watching a trick) Am I supposed to pick a card? A: No, you're supposed to pick your nose. A: No, you're supposed to take all of them. *-from Sebastian Zagorski*	Q: (Student to teacher) Can I go to the bathroom? A: I don't know. Can you? A: Are you wearing a diaper? *-from Sebastian Zagorski*
	Q: Why can't you be like your brother?! A: Just lucky I guess. A: Because I'm not really into geekiness. *-from Allen Hord*	Q: If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?! A: Sure, maybe I'd land on a fat kid! A: I don't know, would it mess up my hair? A: Can't you do that at Disney World? *-from Allen Hord*
	Q: Did you bring your lunch today? A: No, I'm going to eat yours! A: No, I just carry this bag around because it looks cool. A: No, I'm going to puke up yesterday's and eat it again! *-from Allen Hord*	Q: So how was school today? A: The police will fill you in. A: A living [uh, heck] like always. *-from Allen Hord*
	Q: Excuse me sir, is this the end of the line? A: No, it's the front, we're all standing backward! *-from Allen Hord*	Q: Are you gonna eat that? A: Only if you want it. A: No, I'm going to have it bronzed and put on my mantle. *-from Allen Hord*
	Q: May I have this dance? A: Sure, I don't want it. *-from Alycia Bencloski*	Q: (from doctor to patient) So, how are you today? A: Great! I just really like your company. A: Oh, I'm fine. I just needed some tissues. *-from Jessica Bencloski*
	Q: (from the clerk at the store) Will there be anything else? A: Why? Wasn't this enough? A: Not right now. I plan on coming back and buying the entire store one item at a time. A: Thanks for reminding me. I'll be back. *-from D. Brent Walton*	Q: Are you going to eat that? A: No I was trying to see if I could see it getting colder! A: No I was seeing how long you'd go without saying something about it! *-from Nelson Shields*
	Q: So, you're raising a farm? A: No, I keep the cattle for pets. *-from Trish Furino*	Q: Is this your e-mail link? A: No, it's your e-mail link. Write yourself a note. A: No, it's a request for a U.S. Postal mail carrier to come to your door and pick up your mail. A: Yes, and please don't send any. *-from Jim King*